Dear BT

Dear BT,

I've had an issue with my phone line for the best part of a week now, and have been unable to make or receive any phone calls. This issue has also caused my broadband - Thankfully not with your incompetent business - to lose connectivity on a regular basis (Every few minutes). To add insult to this already salted injury, BT customer service representatives refused to acknowledge that there was anything at all wrong with the BT equipment, and instead had me repeating the same damnable (Not to mention completely useless in this, and no doubt other, cases) "tests". After three telephone conversations (Although, I would barely call the primitive noises offered by the "Customer Services" worthy of the word "conversation") and one fault logging through the infuriating website, I finally get to a stage where there exists the possibility that I can get someone who knows their arse from their elbow to come to my property and investigate the fault. I book, gleefully, the next available appointment and relax, assuming that the problem would soon be resolved. Fast forward eighteen hours, and the engineer appointment has come and gone - With no hint of anything changing. I wish I could say my lack of surprise allayed my outrage that, once again, British Telecom had stiffed me, and cost a family member money to wait in for the non existent engineer (Are there only three in the world? Because the number of faults that I have reported on behalf of customers and myself that go unseen to by one of the fabled BT Engineers is.. Well, it's astronomical.). So now, as I write this, someone is doing something with the line as it goes from usable (IE: I get a dialtone) to unusable (IE: I get no dial tone) with no interaction on my part beyond lifting the receiver. I have had the misfortune of rebooking an appointment for the elusive engineers - Who I hope will deem my issue worthy of their presence (Although, I know that in reality it's BT's shoddy booking system that prevents their arrival to the site of a problem) and resolve it.

In case this long winded tale of woe and frustration hasn't made it perfectly clear:

BT, your employees are usually inept (And this is not meant to sound racist, but could you please employ some people capable of speaking English without reading from a cue-card to man the phones? It'd make the arduous task of reporting the numerous faults on your network just a little easier), your systems are atrocious at best, and your customer support leaves so much to be desired, I often find myself willing British Telecom into non existence, while simultaneously trying to launch your utter ineptitude into the nearest dying star.

Please, please, even if you take nothing else from this complaint, make your fault reporting system less infuriating, and employ some more engineers.

Yours sincerely,

Terry