Spelling, how do you do motherfucker.

A friend of mine, Age (CrazyAge on the side bar) effectively linked me to this: Text through Slashdot.

I read the Slashdot piece, it was five lines long, outlining the article. I was horrified at the mere outline. Then I read the article. I think, at this very moment, I am ready to go out into the world and kill some people with my bare hands, I would rather see prison than English being slaughtered because people are so fabulously fucking stupid that they can't even spell a few words. It's a simple solution. Read a few adult orientated books, you learn pretty fast. It doesn't take long to work out that you saw a word spelt in a book, or piece of literature, a certain way. You read it often enough, you learn the spelling.

This caught my attention, specifically: ""It's a very difficult thing to get something accepted like this," acknowledges Alan Mole, president of the American Literacy Council, which favors an end to "illogical spelling." The group says English has 42 sounds spelled in a bewildering 400 ways."

Yes. Forty-two sounds spelled in 400 ways. I can't imagine why that is.

Oh, possibly, because it's a huge collection fo different fucking words?

No, that can't be it, that'd make too much damned sense wouldn't it.

This caught my eye, too: "Lurning English reqierz roet memory rather than lojic, he sed."

I don't know what in the hell they're trying to say here. Learning, English0, than, rather, and said are all that I got. The rest are so bloody idiotic that I can't decipher their meaning.

This Alan Mole character claims that children learning English do not learn as fast as German children or Spanish children. I think he is missing some key facts. The Germans, let's take them first. They are efficiency machines. They probably take predetermined bathroom breaks so as not to screw with their schedule. Thus, it would make sense that their children are drilled to this schedule and acomplish their targets day in, day out. Next up, the Spanish. Obviously he's not worked out what the Spanish day consists of, has he. Let's take a sterotypical look shall we.

Wake up. Spit. Shower, dress. Breakfast. Work. Lunch.

Lunch is more complex than the rest, so let's break it down.

At work, lunch is likely to be the same as hours, one or two hours off to eat and relax a little. Outside of work all that seems to happen is they sleep and generally avoid doing anything that involves a lot of movement, because it's too damned hot.

This means that, assuming the child has other things to do during the cooler parts of the day, he/she has two hours EVERY DAY to learn. I was in Arizona for two or three weeks, I am not in the slightest academic, and in those three weeks I nailed my times tables out. Bang on, second or two answering. If I can do that, some kids can learn to spell, no?

The rest of the article is just so stupid, I can't bring myself to do anything but cry at it. It's reletively self-explanitory, too.

This is being pushed by Americans.

Not to say all Americans are stupid, nothing of the sort, all the Americans I know have at the very least half a brain, and are competant with the language they speak. There is, however, a minority that went unchecked when America gained independance. They hacked letters out to make it 'simpler to use'. It just made more language barriers, because now people argue nearly constantly on forums as to the proper spelling of the words. I side with the English argument. We gave you the language, use it as it was intended you oafish bastards.

I hate your beliefs if you support this bullshit. I don't care who you are, if you try and tell me to spell like a lobotomised bratpack reject, I will skullfuck you until you need to be ID'd via DNA testing. If any one comes to me supporting this argument, I will violate you. That is not a threat. That is a promise. Without GOOD SOLID REASON for the support of this garbage, if you say it's good, I will desecrate everything you stand for, and your body in a blind fit of rage.

However! This said, do not ignore commenting (HAHAHAH) just because I promise to kill you and violate you in new and wonderful ways. Bring it on, I enjoy reading your comments nearly as much as you enjoy writing them.